Skills of Perception

I enjoy the sci fi show called Doctor Who. I am watching an episode right now that involves Vincent Van Gogh. At the end of the show the two main characters and Vincent are staring up at the sky. Vincent starts to describe the sky as he sees it. He's describing Starry Night. In the TV picture, the actual sky turns into the painting, Starry Night.

I'm told by my current therapist that I have some extra-ordinary skills of perception. I have an excellent sense of smell. I can hear more than most people (to the point that I can identify a person by the sound of their walk). I am also extra sensitive. I get migraines and suffer from mental health issues. I'm told these two things are characteristic of people who have a "sensitive brain." I believe all these things but sometimes I wonder why I have these "extra skills." What makes me so special? I don't understand this negative sceptisism.... It's got the same tone as the part that keeps me stuck in my eating disorder. It's the part that repeats things like "How dare you think life could be good? You're no princess. You'll work hard and get nothing out of life, just like the rest of us. The sooner you stop putting on aires the sooner you will be able to do something useful in your life."

At times it's nice to have these extra perceptive skills. I haven't found the great contribution they make in my life, but I am thankful most of the time. It's nice to be able to read people, sort of tell what they are thinking. There are many times that I wish I didn't have them though. They lead to things like migraines and severe emotional states.

I learned that many good artists have these kind of skills. Hence, the Vincent Van Gogh reference in the beginning of this post. He had extra-ordinary skills of perception but where did it get him... suicide at 37. He never got to see the extent of his fame. I would like to be a good artist but then I hear things like that one part says and decide to stick to something more practical even if it's depressing.