Friday, August 5, 2011

Headaches

I've always had headaches. I am told I started getting them around the age of five. They have progressed to full blown migraines. I have been to numerous doctors, who have not found anything really WRONG with me.

I think my parts have something to do with it. When my parts are more activated, as a system, I get more headaches. I think having many different "people" and trains of thought in my head tax my brain. I know all the biology about how headaches are caused by increased blood flow to the brain and everything from food, to sleep, to posture, to stress can affect headaches. I get all that but I think having multiple conflicting arguments with people of all ages in my head MUST contribute!

I currently have a headache.... I've started the process of REALLY dealing with some deep issues in therapy. It's alerted the entire system and now the headaches are worse. I think the headache may be an alert that the system is in stress and needs some kind of help. I'm just so tired, scared and lonely. It's hard to take the time I need to process everything. It's easier to just forget about it but I can't forget a headache, especially when it's so bad it seems my teeth and hair actually hurt. I know I need to let the hurt parts talk, listen to the exiles and address what's going on but tonight, I just can't do any more. I've dropped into The Reporter part. I don't like that part very much today but I guess it means the system isn't ready to feel everything yet.

And that makes sense... it is 11:34pm and I have to be up by 6am. We really DO need to go to sleep. Until later...

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