The Dreamer

A part of mine, I call Dreamer has asked me to shart this. I wrote it a couple months ago, March 26, 2010.

The Dreamer

I feel like I'm floating. I'm warm and cozy and happy. I'm thinking but not stressed out. I'm hopeful. I am content, still, quiet and soft. I am safe. I am The Dreamer. I am ready to dream. Things are going to work out. Things are going to be great. No one can hurt me. I can do anything. We are going to have a perfect future. I love my house. It's beautiful and has so much personality. It's ready for it's make - over. I'm going to work less, sell Arbonne full time, have gorgeous children and a loving, perfect Husband. I'm going to be skinny, eat healthy and dance as much as I want. I'm going to love everything that I do. I'm going to have lots of friends and a handful of sister - friends. I will not be stressed. I will travel. I will meet people easily and be very social. I will never be rushed. I will pray, fast and love God fully. I will learn His word through regular personal and social bible studies. I surround myself with positive, beautiful, warm, inviting and friendly things. I have enough money to do anything I want. I don't want much. I am loved by pepole, myself and God. God is good; all the time. I have no pain. I am healthy and take care of myself. I am balanced, happy and healthy in mind, body and spirit. I am good to people. I help people. I love my job. I get to perform. People love me. Children want my autograph. I am humble. I am graceful. I am full of energy. I am beautiful and good. I am kind, gentle, interesting and creative. I paint, draw and scrapbook. I am taken care of. Everyone loves me.
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I think the Dreamer wanted me to remember what we want in life. We've had a REALLY bad week. The therapist had a serious talk with us today about suicidality. I don't think I'm suicidal but I can understand her concern. I'm thankful for it. I've had some very low points recently and e-mails to her were approaching alarm. I haven't let the Dreamer out much. She stays hidden away because she's less useful, functionally. She's so important though. She's little. I'm not sure how old. Maybe 5 or 6. She hasn't been tainted by the harshness of this world. She's very pure. I like this part. Why do I hide it? I think it's out of protection for it and other parts.