I've decided to stay in my current job, live in my house and turn down the Ohio job.
There's more to life than a job.
Do I want my current job? Do I think it will be any less frustrating?
NO!
Am I going to regret my decision?
Probably...
Would I regret the decision either way?
Definitely!
I have barley been able to think of anything else for weeks. I have to stop the debate. I worry that I taking the safe route out of fear.
It can't be such a bad thing to pick the safe answer when recovery is on the line.
I made my decision on a plane trip from CT to FL. I couldn't stop thinking about it so figured it was time to make a decision. I'm lucky people on planes are in their own little worlds because I was crying most of the trip. I don't want to keep make this decision. I really want to be able to be done with it all but even today I'm already second guessing myself.
I'm starting to dread work on Monday and the hot winters already. I'm starting to like my life here though.
I'm so conflicted!
This blog is to help navigate pieces of myself. I've struggled for 10 yrs in therapy for numerous "disorders." I've found an intuitive approach to myself in a technique called the Internal Family System Model. Under no circumstances do I claim to be a therapist or provide internet therapy. This blog is for me and my "parts" to speak, express and gather feedback / validation. I no longer want to burden other people but need a place to release. I hope you find help or comfort in my experiences.
Saturday, October 9, 2010
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