Confused

I found myself surfing the web tonight to see if laxatives REALLY DO make someone lose weight. I didn't go on the pro-ana/mia sites but it doesn't matter. I'm still having the urge to binge / purge / restrict dispite the warnings I read from medical sites.

I'm really VERY stressed out. I called my dad yesterday and he didn't asnwer the phone. I don't really like my dad but I know this is some kind of punishment. About two weeks ago he hung up on me because I didn't want to talk to him about something. He hasn't talked to me since. The guilt has set in. I'm also having to decide if I'm going to move to Ohio for a job. Most the the time, I don't want to go but parts of mine want the adventure and change of environment. I am beyond confused and no one is going to be able to help me with this.

I got the job offer and I've been crying off and on ever since. That just doesn't seem right! Then again, change is always hard but that doesn't mean it's bad. I'm so confused.

I'm also sort of at a pivotal time in my recovery. I'm sure I would backslide if I moved. I'm already starting (as stated above). Do I want that?

I'm afraid if I don't take this job (it's a great opportunity) that I might just die in my current job. I really hate my job and want to change industries. Do I take the risk that I will find something here or go for the sure thing that will mean EVERYTHING changes?