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I've been working on my home most of the day and my mood just took a major plummet! I think it probably has something to do with the minimal amount of food I've eaten today though.
I got all the wallpaper off the walls and finished one coat of paint on my bathroom ceiling. Unfortunately I think it's going to need a second coat. I'm DREADING doing it. I had all these great plans to paint and decorate my bathroom this weekend and all I want to do is sleep.
I keep thinking things like:
Why did I buy this house? All it does is take time and money. I have no one to help me, no one to share it with and no one to even visit! What's the point!? I resent buying this house.
I thought I would feel this sense of accomplishment but I really just want to sell my house and take the money to move somewhere exciting or take a trip to Japan. I always feel so trapped. Why can't I ever simply enjoy myself? I'm tired of responsibility. I'm tired of money. I'm tired of working. I'm tired of laundry. I'm tired of cleaning. I'm tired of dishes. I'm tired of crying. I'm tired of my eating disorder. I'm tired of therapy. I'm tired of being TIRED. I'm tired of people. I'm tired of life. I'm tired of EVERYTHING!
I'm actually arguing with myself. I don't know if it's my parts but I caught myself actually telling myself things like "Shut up" and "Get over it."
Everything hurts.... head, neck, back, legs, knees, face....
